


Of Love and Elephants

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-07 19:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Canon. Roy and Riza's special day comes, and all is well until just before they leave. Sometimes it's just better to wear pants. Rated T for crude humor and 1 dirty word</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Love and Elephants

***I don't own the series Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within***

* * *

A/N: written quickly and unrevised (as usual). Hope you find it as funny as I did!

* * *

Sunny and warm with a gentle breeze, it was a beautiful day for wedding. Riza stood under the arch that was heavy with sweet wisteria, wearing the dress her mother had worn on her parents' wedding day, and Roy in the kilt his father had worn on his parents' wedding day. The guests cheered and whistled when the vicar pronounced them husband and wife, and for the first time in a long time, the two of them wore wide smiles that were genuine and joyful. They proceeded to the other side of Maj. Gen. Armstrong's yard, to the large veranda where tables and chairs had been set up for the reception. Though it had cost a pretty penny, Roy had convinced the Ice Queen of Briggs to let them have their wedding there, since the newlywed couple were still living out of their apartments. She had agreed to it, but only because without Roy's careful planning, and his help with destroying the homunculi at the end, there wouldn't even be a mansion for her to own.

There was dancing, toasts, revelry, laughter, and between the two of them, open affection and love that had remained hidden and secreted away for many years. As twilight slowly crept upon them, they decided enough was enough, and the honeymoon suite at the Promenade Hotel was starting to call their name. After calling the attention of the guests, Roy gave a thank you speech to their friends.

"I guess it's no secret now how I feel about the woman whom I've taken as my wife today, although for far too long we've both had to bury our feelings down deep. Now that I don't have to, I'm afraid of becoming something akin to my late friend Maes!" The crowd laughed fondly in remembrance of the man who was so proud of his wife and daughter that he was constantly flashing photos of them. "While Riza and I have certainly enjoyed ourselves tonight, it's time we made our way to our room. So thank you all for coming, thank you all for the gifts, but most of all, thank you for your love and support as we finally begin our life together." Just as he was making his final words of appreciation, a strong gust came through the garden, blowing Riza's hair all over the place…

And blowing Roy's kilt up around his chest. That in itself was bad, however…

"Look! He's got _elephant_ underwear on Mommy!" Elysia exclaimed. Suddenly Gracia's hands were over her daughter's eyes as Roy tried to push the fabric back down, red faced as the crowd howled with laughter.

"That's some trunk your elephant has there, Mustang!" Rebecca squealed. Havoc and Breda started making trumpeting sounds while Falman pounded the table with his fist and sobbed as he laughed hysterically. The Elrics and the Rockbells were laughing so hard they could barely breathe, and the rest of the attendees were guffawing and giggling just as hard.

Roy was afraid to look at Riza, but he did finally give her a sidelong glance, only to find her red faced but giggling silently under her hand. Seeing her happy, laughing eyes caused him to smirk. "May I interest you in an elephant ride, my love?" Those close enough to hear him say it positively fell to the ground with their laughter.

"But Mommy, there's no real elephants here!" Gracia was fighting giggles while glaring daggers at Roy. Her daughter was too young to understand things like novelty underwear and she didn't really feel like having to explain it to her… but damn, this _was_ funny!

"The elephant is back at the hotel, honey," she finally gasped as laughter began to shake her sides.

"I wanna ride on an elephant," the girl whined.

"Maybe when you're older, sweetie," Gracia smiled.

Havoc all but swallowed his cigarette at that exchange and he crowed, "Chief, will you get the hell out of here before we all have a fuckin' coronary!"

Unable to argue with that logic, Roy grabbed Riza's hand and helped her to her feet, then turned back to the crowd. "Always leave 'em laughing, right?" Their friends gave a unanimous "Just GO!", and they were driving away minutes later.

* * *

Two weeks after the happy couple returned and settled into their new house, Roy walked into his office to find a brilliantly wrapped package on his desk. The blue foil paper and the white ribbons looked harmless, but when he read the tag and found it to be "From the boys", he knew something was up.

He pulled the lid off and chuckled. Inside was a large jar of unshelled peanuts, a toy stuffed mouse in a small wooden cage wearing a sign that read "Enemy #1", and some mocked up "tickets" for free elephant rides. Also there was a finely framed print of an elephant in the wild, and an elephant shaped coffee cup. Running his fingers through his hair, he groaned aloud to himself, "I am never gonna live this down…"


End file.
